As you should all know by this point, I’m gay. There, I said it. I’m gay.
As you have all known for a long time, so have a number of people in my friends and family, but it wasn’t until this past week (with all the equality hub-bub and posts) that I announced my sexuality on Facebook. Not that everyone didn’t know or assume that I was gay, but I never had posted that I was before. After seeing all the posts, pictures, and just general support from my friends and allies, I impulsively made a thank you post, and I never thought about who would be seeing it.
So I went to bed, and the next day I got picked up by my parents so that I could go home for Easter. When my dad arrived, it was just tense, but I didn’t really think anything of it, because he’s always stressed when he comes down to Milwaukee to pick me up.
When we got home, my dad left for a bit to pick up some dinner for us, and my mom (who I’ve been out to for almost two years) turns to me, and says, “Your father saw your Facebook status when I left my Facebook up. The cat’s out of the bag.” You see, I hadn’t told him. Coming out to my mom was easy, but the concept, the thought, of coming out to my father terrified me beyond all other things. I was afraid he’d disown me, or be ashamed of who I was.
My obvious response to this news was, “Oh, how’d he take it?” and she said he wasn’t too happy - mostly disappointed, and kind of hurt from what I gathered. He even had the gall to say that if I wasn’t in theatre I wouldn’t have ended up gay because it wouldn’t have seemed so normal. My dad has never been open minded on the topic, and I know he was praying that I wouldn’t be gay.
When he got back from the store we didn’t talk about it, and we went on being polite the whole weekend, but dodging the issue if the conversation even skirted close to the topic of sexuality. It was pretty stressful for me, but I didn’t want to talk about my sexuality with my father anymore than he wanted to talk about it with me - which was good.
On Sunday my parents dropped me off at the train station, and I boarded to get back to Milwaukee. They both hugged me and told me they loved me.
About three hours later I was back home in Milwaukee, and I got a text from my mom that read, “Your dad has funny ways of showing he loves you. Look in your backpack.”
Here’s what was tucked inside, between two Pathfinder rule books:
On the back it says, "I will always love you, no matter what."